I CAN MOONWALK!
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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