Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I intend to get homeless drunk
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
My life is pants optional.
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