Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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