not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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