Just cropdusted the office
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
