Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize