I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Couch. On fire.
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