I'm gonna have a badass scar
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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