I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize