eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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