don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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