Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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