My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
