The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
