I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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