I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Sext me about skeletons
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
