Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
he quoted the bible to break up with me
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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