is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
