watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
