My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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