It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
