I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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