I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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