We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
