Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just invented taco cereal.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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