Betty ford says i'm here all night
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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