i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
