True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He? As in you personified your dick?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize