Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
