therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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