That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
porn star boner night. come get it.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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