When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
