Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
