his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
