highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
