I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
