yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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