Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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