i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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