well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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