so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
