I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
