My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
