before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
