Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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