He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
