he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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