i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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