You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
