that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Randomize
